I’m so indecisive and I constantly doubt myself or what I want, if I’m doing one thing, I want the other, but once I’ve found or experienced the “other” I want back what I had. Or I want another “other”
But I just don’t know how to just be and enjoy life. I feel like I have a finite amount of time and I’m wasting it being neither here nor there.
How do I stop being so indecisive and how do I find out what I want?
The first thing you could accept is that your hesitancy has been useful to you in the past. For whatever reasons it has helped you avoid dangers and alerted you to things that are worth worrying about.
Once you are ok with the fact that it is a reaction that has been really useful to you in the past – maybe in your childhood – you can choose what kind of a ‘hesitancy scale’ you want in the future. In which situations is hesitancy a good idea? (eg tight-rope walking) When is it not? (eg eating breakfast) In between there is a range of things that are safe, dangerous, exciting and mundane. You can’t control everything that happens around you but you can choose how you react. Your mission, as a part of living, is to work out how you want to react to life.
So pay attention to what’s happening in you at the moment you become anxious. There is likely a difference – it could be physical, emotional, or something else – between ‘sensible’ hesitation and ‘unhelpful’ hesitation. For example, I had a client who feels ‘sensible’ hesitation in their heart but ‘unhelpful’ hesitation in a particular way their face flinches.
There’s a way, once you identify the difference, of ‘turning down the volume’ on the unhelpful stuff. You can probably work it out yourself once you get there, but get in touch if you want to keep talking.