“How can I be less sensitive to the things that happen to me?”

I am so sensitive person. I care about every thing in my life, i want every thing to be in a way that won’t affect me(or hurt me).
I realized that it is impossible not to get hurt from time to time but i still have fear of getting hurt. What makes me feel bad is i get hurt for reasons beyond my control, like some one did some bad thing to me, i blame my self for not being alerted and blame my less experience in life, then i tell myself that i learn, but actually what he did makes me feel so miserable and see life as a bad place because i am innocent self from inside and expect all people to be like me.

Let me start by saying I am INCREDIBLY sensitive to what people say, what people don’t say, and what I read into people and situations all around me.

My advice is to not try to change it. But there is also a perspective you can take on that helps you be less antagonised.

If you’re like me you have a radar that is always on, turned up to 11, reads the room an in instant, strongly intuitive about people and sometimes over-corrects to see things that may not be there.

In my profession that’s an incredible bonus. I get a sense of what’s happening in someone often before they themselves realise it. I may not be able to name it, but I know how to draw it out, acknowledge its importance, and give the other person ways of doing something with it.

It also means that in non-professional circumstances I ‘see’ things that others don’t recognise. And because they haven’t paid me to spot them it can cause arguments. As far as they’re concerned it doesn’t exist; for me it’s glaringly obvious.

Which means I can be ‘sensitive’. Reacting too quickly (in their opinion) to something that’s not such a big deal. Going too deep when we’re just having a chat.

So now the perspective that can help you…

This is your interpretation of the world. Everything is relative. If you are in space there is no up, no down, only the juxtaposition of two things. There is no fast, no slow, only the relative velocities of two bodies in motion.

How you feel is how you feel, not how they are being. Thicker skin will shut you down. Keep your skin thin, celebrate the sensitivity you have for what matters out there… and accept that part of the trade you make is that sometimes it stings.

Got a question? Get in touch.